Wednesday, May 27, 2015

New Release from K. Lynn & Alex Dunkin - Preorders Available

This week, we have selected titles by Kiernan Kelly, AKM Miles & Cassidy Ryan on sale for 20% off. Check it out: http://www.torquerebooks.com/index.php?main_page=specials&page=1

New Releases 5/27/15


His Womanly Ways
by K. Lynn
206 pages / 65000 words
ISBN: 978-1-61040-916-2
$5.49
Buy Link: http://www.torquerebooks.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=96&products_id=4390
Blurb:
Alex is a womanizer. He makes no excuses for it. Yes, he picks up women at the local bar, leaving them with just a memory of a good night and a good lay, but he hasn't had any complaints yet. That is, until he picks up the wrong woman. Not satisfied to be tossed aside as just another notch in Alex's bedpost, she curses him, wishing he “knew what it was like for a woman.” And he's about to find out what she means, embarking on a genderswap journey that he can't stop.
Alex starts slowly gaining secondary female characteristics. Waking up with his cock gone, replaced by a vagina, was bad enough. Then it gets worse, as his body becomes more like a woman than the man he used to be. Alex tries to hide the changes he's going through, for fear that someone will discover his secret, but keeping this quite literally “under wraps” might be impossible before the curse runs its course.
With the help of his female best friend, Eve, Alex tries to deal with who he is becoming. He feels like he's lost his identity, his mind not matching the body he now has. But Eve sticks by him, and they become closer as Alex's changes progress. What started out as friendship may become something more before Alex's journey is over. Perhaps this curse was actually a blessing in disguise.


Coming Out Catholic
by Alex Dunkin
Pages: 174 / Words: 90800
ISBN:978-1-61040-920-9
$4.99
Buy Link: http://www.torquerebooks.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=96&products_id=4388
Blurb:
Like all good Catholic boys I care what Jesus thinks. Jesus -- both the man and the faith. Following him makes me happy. There’s just one issue… I think I’m gay. Well, it’s hard to be sure while going to an all-boys school. It could be a matter of simply liking what I know, and really, oh so very much liking what I see all day -- guys. Being gay and Catholic can’t possibly work together. Can it?
Coming Out Catholic follows a year in the life of a private Catholic school student as he comes to terms with his sexuality. Armed with sarcasm and his best friend Mark, he prepares to take on the school thug and the awkward social encounters plaguing his late teenage years.
Confronting himself and his family are just the beginning of his trials. He finds he must find solace with his sexual desires without surrendering any of his faith. He loves both too much to deny either one, but when the time comes he will have to decide if he must turn away from one and prepare to succumb to a life of denial, or if, by some miracle, he can find acceptance for both within himself.

Available for Pre-Order NOW

To view all of our current pre-orders: http://www.torquerebooks.com/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=200

Coming 6/3/15


The Bohemians
by Sean Michael
Topaz is a free-spirit, loving easily, though searching for his true soul-mate. As soon as he meets Quincy, he realizes this is the man who has been calling for him in his dreams and he offers his whole self, body, heart, mind and soul, without thought.
Quincy gives away his heart too easily, and has been hurt in love more than once. Still, that doesn’t stop him from falling head over heels for Topaz when he first meets the man.
It seems like a match made in heaven, but Topaz lives with two men who are his best friends, and also his lovers. Will Quincy ever be able to understand that Topaz has more than enough love in his heart for his best friends and his soul-mate, or will Topaz’s bohemian ways be too much for Quincy to understand?
Originally published in the Bus Stories Anthology.
Releasing 6/3/15 - Available Pre-Order: http://www.torquerebooks.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=200&products_id=4408


Friday at the 7-Eleven
by J.T. Hall
Brent’s a bully who picks on his workmate Alex. What Brent doesn’t realize, however, is that Alex wants him, but is too scared to ask. Meanwhile Brent’s convinced that all he needs is a firm hand to push him down and force him to be a good guy.
Then he meets Craig, an muscled veteran working at the local 7-Eleven. Craig knows a switch when he sees it, and Brent’s got it written all over him. He needs a hard takedown and some training to harness that sadistic side. Craig decides that what might be best is for all three of them to get together. Only by embracing honesty and self-control can each of them find what they need.
Releasing 6/3/15 - Available Pre-Order: http://www.torquerebooks.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=200&products_id=4407

Coming 6/10/15


Phoenix
by Racheline Maltese and Erin McRae
Sometimes the end of everything…
Now happily married to writer and producer Paul Marion Keane, television star J. Alex Cook’s life has been a fairytale of success and romance for years. But when an unexpected tragedy throws his and Paul’s social circle into chaos, the alumni of hit TV show The Fourth Estate are forced to pick up the creative pieces left behind.
...is just the beginning
Confronted with his own mortality, Paul suggests he and Alex start a family. But figuring out what family means when your best friends’ polyamorous marriage may be melting down and you have Hollywood’s most malevolent fairy godmother to thank for your success is no easy proposition.
As Alex questions whether anyone in a profession full of make believe can truly have fame, fortune, kids, and the happily ever after of their dreams, he sets out to take control of his own life and discovers that the best love stories never truly end.
Phoenix is Book 3 in the Love in Los Angeles series.
Releasing 6/10/15 - Available Pre-Order: http://www.torquerebooks.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=200&products_id=4409


The LD50 of Memories
by A.R. Moler
Navy Pilot Cameron Bradshaw and orthopedic surgeon Mason Flynn are fast working towards solidifying their new family. But life is full of bumps and bruises-- from a sudden lack of diapers for their daughter to Mason's bigoted father passing away. Cam is having scary psychic shock episodes too. After a terrible experience doing a Division P body-finding job, Cam's shields crash hard and he suffers life threatening physical side effects. The solution complicates their lives further. Still, between Jane, their new nanny, and the men reconnecting with an adult sibling apiece, they can see their new family forming around them. Maybe it's time to make it all official?
Releasing 6/3/15 - Available Pre-Order: http://www.torquerebooks.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=200&products_id=4410

Monday, May 25, 2015

Coming soon...

Available for Pre-Order NOW

To view all of our current pre-orders: http://www.torquerebooks.com/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=200

Coming 5/27/15


His Womanly Ways
by K. Lynn
Alex is a womanizer. He makes no excuses for it. Yes, he picks up women at the local bar, leaving them with just a memory of a good night and a good lay, but he hasn't had any complaints yet. That is, until he picks up the wrong woman. Not satisfied to be tossed aside as just another notch in Alex's bedpost, she curses him, wishing he “knew what it was like for a woman.” And he's about to find out what she means, embarking on a genderswap journey that he can't stop.
Alex starts slowly gaining secondary female characteristics. Waking up with his cock gone, replaced by a vagina, was bad enough. Then it gets worse, as his body becomes more like a woman than the man he used to be. Alex tries to hide the changes he's going through, for fear that someone will discover his secret, but keeping this quite literally “under wraps” might be impossible before the curse runs its course.
With the help of his female best friend, Eve, Alex tries to deal with who he is becoming. He feels like he's lost his identity, his mind not matching the body he now has. But Eve sticks by him, and they become closer as Alex's changes progress. What started out as friendship may become something more before Alex's journey is over. Perhaps this curse was actually a blessing in disguise.
Releasing 5/27/15 - Available Pre-Order: http://www.torquerebooks.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=200&products_id=4390


Coming Out Catholic
by Alex Dunkin
Like all good Catholic boys I care what Jesus thinks. Jesus -- both the man and the faith. Following him makes me happy. There’s just one issue… I think I’m gay. Well, it’s hard to be sure while going to an all-boys school. It could be a matter of simply liking what I know, and really, oh so very much liking what I see all day -- guys. Being gay and Catholic can’t possible work together. Can it?
Coming Out Catholic follows a year in the life of a private Catholic school student as he comes to terms with his sexuality. Armed with sarcasm and his best friend Mark, he prepares to take on the school thug and the awkward social encounters plaguing his late teenage years.
Confronting himself and his family are just the beginning of his trials. He finds he must find solace with his sexual desires without surrendering any of his faith. He loves both too much to deny either one, but when the time comes he will have to decide if he must turn away from one and prepare to succumb to a life of denial, or if, by some miracle, he can find acceptance for both within himself.
Releasing 5/27/15 - Available Pre-Order: http://www.torquerebooks.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=200&products_id=4388

Coming 6/3/15


The Bohemians
by Sean Michael
Topaz is a free-spirit, loving easily, though searching for his true soul-mate. As soon as he meets Quincy, he realizes this is the man who has been calling for him in his dreams and he offers his whole self, body, heart, mind and soul, without thought.
Quincy gives away his heart too easily, and has been hurt in love more than once. Still, that doesn’t stop him from falling head over heels for Topaz when he first meets the man.
It seems like a match made in heaven, but Topaz lives with two men who are his best friends, and also his lovers. Will Quincy ever be able to understand that Topaz has more than enough love in his heart for his best friends and his soul-mate, or will Topaz’s bohemian ways be too much for Quincy to understand?
Originally published in the Bus Stories Anthology.
Releasing 6/3/15 - Available Pre-Order: http://www.torquerebooks.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=200&products_id=4408


Friday at the 7-Eleven
by J.T. Hall
Brent’s a bully who picks on his workmate Alex. What Brent doesn’t realize, however, is that Alex wants him, but is too scared to ask. Meanwhile Brent’s convinced that all he needs is a firm hand to push him down and force him to be a good guy.
Then he meets Craig, an muscled veteran working at the local 7-Eleven. Craig knows a switch when he sees it, and Brent’s got it written all over him. He needs a hard takedown and some training to harness that sadistic side. Craig decides that what might be best is for all three of them to get together. Only by embracing honesty and self-control can each of them find what they need.
Releasing 6/3/15 - Available Pre-Order: http://www.torquerebooks.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=200&products_id=4407

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

New Releases & Preorders Available NOW

This week, we have selected titles on select stories by Lee Benoit on sale for 20% off. Check it out: http://www.torquerebooks.com/index.php?main_page=specials&page=1

New Releases 5/20/15


Songbook: Paulo and Preston Shorts
by Lee Benoit
204 pages / 59300 words
ISBN: 978-1-61040-919-3
$4.99
Buy Link: http://www.torquerebooks.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=96&products_id=4391
Blurb:
Cue the music! SONGBOOK collects, for the first time ever, all of the stories in the Paulo and Preston series!
Preston is a lifestyle Dominant, recently retired from a career on stage at an exclusive BDSM club. When the series begins, he's single and looking forward to a quieter life. All that changes on the night of Preston's last performance when Paulo, a complete novice, takes the place of Preston's usual stage submissive. By day Paulo does odd jobs and sings in the Sister City Gay Men's Chorus. After that first night with Preston, however, he wants more. He wants everything. Can a newbie sub and a gracefully aging Dom learn to harmonize?
Each story chronicles a new phase in Paulo and Preston's relationship and features song lyrics mangled in deliciously naughty ways by Paulo.


Untamed
by Madeline Dyer
Pages: 366 / Words: 90800
ISBN: 978-1-61040-917-9
$6.99
Buy Link: http://www.torquerebooks.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=96&products_id=4389
Blurb:
As one of the last Untamed humans left in the world, Seven’s life has always been controlled by tight rules. Stay away from the Enhanced. Don’t question your leader. And, most importantly, never switch sides—because once you’re Enhanced there’s no going back. Even if you have become the perfect human being.
But after a disastrous raid on an Enhanced city, Seven soon finds herself in her enemy’s power. Realizing it’s only a matter of time before she too develops a taste for the chemical augmenters responsible for the erosion of humanity, Seven knows she must act quickly if she’s to escape and save her family from the same fate.
Yet, as one of the most powerful Seers that the Untamed and Enhanced have ever known, Seven quickly discovers that she alone holds the key to the survival of only one race. But things aren’t clear-cut anymore, and with Seven now questioning the very beliefs she was raised on, she knows she has an important choice to make. One that has two very different outcomes.
Seven must choose wisely whose side she joins, for the War of Humanity is underway, and Death never takes kindly to traitors.

Available for Pre-Order NOW

To view all of our current pre-orders: http://www.torquerebooks.com/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=200

Coming 5/27/15


His Womanly Ways
by K. Lynn
Alex is a womanizer. He makes no excuses for it. Yes, he picks up women at the local bar, leaving them with just a memory of a good night and a good lay, but he hasn't had any complaints yet. That is, until he picks up the wrong woman. Not satisfied to be tossed aside as just another notch in Alex's bedpost, she curses him, wishing he “knew what it was like for a woman.” And he's about to find out what she means, embarking on a genderswap journey that he can't stop.
Alex starts slowly gaining secondary female characteristics. Waking up with his cock gone, replaced by a vagina, was bad enough. Then it gets worse, as his body becomes more like a woman than the man he used to be. Alex tries to hide the changes he's going through, for fear that someone will discover his secret, but keeping this quite literally “under wraps” might be impossible before the curse runs its course.
With the help of his female best friend, Eve, Alex tries to deal with who he is becoming. He feels like he's lost his identity, his mind not matching the body he now has. But Eve sticks by him, and they become closer as Alex's changes progress. What started out as friendship may become something more before Alex's journey is over. Perhaps this curse was actually a blessing in disguise.
Releasing 5/27/15 - Available Pre-Order: http://www.torquerebooks.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=200&products_id=4390


Coming Out Catholic
by Alex Dunkin
Like all good Catholic boys I care what Jesus thinks. Jesus -- both the man and the faith. Following him makes me happy. There’s just one issue… I think I’m gay. Well, it’s hard to be sure while going to an all-boys school. It could be a matter of simply liking what I know, and really, oh so very much liking what I see all day -- guys. Being gay and Catholic can’t possible work together. Can it?
Coming Out Catholic follows a year in the life of a private Catholic school student as he comes to terms with his sexuality. Armed with sarcasm and his best friend Mark, he prepares to take on the school thug and the awkward social encounters plaguing his late teenage years.
Confronting himself and his family are just the beginning of his trials. He finds he must find solace with his sexual desires without surrendering any of his faith. He loves both too much to deny either one, but when the time comes he will have to decide if he must turn away from one and prepare to succumb to a life of denial, or if, by some miracle, he can find acceptance for both within himself.
Releasing 5/27/15 - Available Pre-Order: http://www.torquerebooks.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=200&products_id=4388

Coming 6/3/15


The Bohemians
by Sean Michael
Topaz is a free-spirit, loving easily, though searching for his true soul-mate. As soon as he meets Quincy, he realizes this is the man who has been calling for him in his dreams and he offers his whole self, body, heart, mind and soul, without thought.
Quincy gives away his heart too easily, and has been hurt in love more than once. Still, that doesn’t stop him from falling head over heels for Topaz when he first meets the man.
It seems like a match made in heaven, but Topaz lives with two men who are his best friends, and also his lovers. Will Quincy ever be able to understand that Topaz has more than enough love in his heart for his best friends and his soul-mate, or will Topaz’s bohemian ways be too much for Quincy to understand?
Originally published in the Bus Stories Anthology.
Releasing 6/3/15 - Available Pre-Order: http://www.torquerebooks.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=200&products_id=4408


Friday at the 7-Eleven
by J.T. Hall
Brent’s a bully who picks on his workmate Alex. What Brent doesn’t realize, however, is that Alex wants him, but is too scared to ask. Meanwhile Brent’s convinced that all he needs is a firm hand to push him down and force him to be a good guy.
Then he meets Craig, an muscled veteran working at the local 7-Eleven. Craig knows a switch when he sees it, and Brent’s got it written all over him. He needs a hard takedown and some training to harness that sadistic side. Craig decides that what might be best is for all three of them to get together. Only by embracing honesty and self-control can each of them find what they need.
Releasing 6/3/15 - Available Pre-Order: http://www.torquerebooks.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=200&products_id=4407

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

THIS WEEKS SPECIALS!!!

This week, we have selected titles by Lee Benoit on sale for 20% off. Check 'em out:
http://www.torquerebooks.com/index.php?main_page=specials

5/13/15's Author Extra: The Myth of Ero and Psy by Alisha Monroe

[My sincere apologies for this not making it up on the actual release date! Thank you!]

The Myth of Ero and Psy
By Alisha Monroe


Marketing blurb:


When ancient cities crumbled and far off kingdoms faded into the distant past, their deities did not fade with them. Those gods continue to walk the Earth even in the twenty-first century, but without worship and sacrifice, they're merely gifted immortals. Sometimes these immortals remain in obscurity, but other times... they do not.

 

Club Muse is a haven for queer people and old gods alike, but that co-existence is threatened when the peerlessly gorgeous Psy enters the scene. He not only attracts scores of mortals each night he works the bar, but also Ero—the former god of desire.

 

Ero has grown weary of his mortal identity but that's because he's never met a mortal like Psy. The problem is, his sister V—the former goddess of love—is tired of sharing the club's spotlight with the object of Ero's desire. She wants Psy gone, but Ero won't give up that easy. Will he be able to keep Psy safe and find love while maintaining the secret of his immortality?


Available:
http://www.torquerebooks.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=96&products_id=4403




Author Extra:


Bonus excerpt:


A young man stood behind the bar, looking at once lost in the chaotic sea of thriving bodies while managing to be breathtakingly beautiful. Fine chestnut-colored hair, round indigo eyes, pale skin, and a mouth that was meant to be worshipped.

 

"Down boy," Delphi drawled around a cigarette. "If you walk around waving that dick of yours, you'll have a score of mortals looking to fornicate in the washroom in a hot minute."

 

Ero turned forcibly from the young man behind the bar. "Who is that?"

 

"His name's Psy. Youngest son of the two dupes who run this joint. The story goes, they spent so much money on his older brothers that they kind of forgot about him. No overpriced universities in his future, the poor thing."

 

Peeking over his shoulder again, Ero wondered if that was the reason for Psy's long face. Aside from wearing his confusion and lack of experience like a body-sized glove, the kid was glum. Those plump lips were tilting down at the sides in a way that made Ero want to go over and talk to him. Ask if everything was okay. Except, it didn't look like Psy needed Ero for that. Now that he was looking closer, Ero realized that a good dozen twinks, studs, and leather daddies were doing their best to make the new bartender feel at home.

 

"Why are they all hounding him?"

 

"Fresh meat," Delphi said knowingly. "But it's not them you have to worry about."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

Delphi flashed her secret smile. "Go ask V."

 

Ero wasn't particularly interested in talking to V at the moment, but if Delphi said it was going to happen, well, it was going to happen. She hadn't spent eternity working as an oracle for nothing.

 

In the time it took Ero to cross the club and make it backstage, his ass had been grabbed more times than the Golden Fleece, and he'd sent not less than three couples into jealous squabbles. Once, he'd used the power of creating instant lust (or love, if you were mushy) for good, but now he couldn't be bothered. What was the point of any of it?

 

"Get your existential crisis having ass in here now," V crowed when she caught sight of his face behind the crowd amassing at her door.

 

To Ero, she looked like a vengeful harpy, but to the queer people wanting her autograph or infamous love tips, she looked every bit the goddess.

 

"Sorry babies," V crooned to her fans. "I must speak with Ero for just one minute and then I'm all yours."

 

There was some grumbling and moaning, but the crowd complied. Within a moment, Ero was within the too-warm, too-pink, and too-potpourri scented interior of her dressing room.

 

"What V?" Ero asked tiredly. "Who do you want me to hook up or break up now?"

 

V leaned against her white, marble vanity, and her pink lips twisted in a sneer. "That new bitch at the bar. I want him out."

 



Labels: author extra, Alisha Monroe

5/13/15's Author Extra: Styx and Stone by Leigh Ellwood

[My apologies for this Author Extra being tardy! Enjoy!]

Styx and Stone
By Leigh Ellwood


Marketing blurb:

What’s the afterlife like, clouds and pearly gates, fire and brimstone? Charon the ferryman knows the River Styx like the back of his hand and enjoys shuttling new arrivals to a better place. Sexy Stone Herron, fresh from the mortal coil, would rather stick around and park the boat in a private place during downtime. Good thing Charon doesn’t mind that, either.


Available:
http://www.torquerebooks.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=96&products_id=4396




Author Extra:


Exclusive Interview With Charon, by author Leigh Ellwood

 

To celebrate the release of Styx and Stone, I sat down with one of the main characters, Charon the ferryman, for a quick interview.

 

I’m sure everybody really wants to know what happens when you die. Is there a tunnel, a bright light, something else before they come to you?

 

Charon: shrugs Hard for me to answer, since I’ve never experienced death myself. I’ve always been on the other side. I ask around, but I get different answers, so your mileage may vary.

 

Have you ever wanted to step out to the mortal side, even for a day?

 

Charon: Oh, yeah. I don’t know if I’d want to do it right now, though. Doesn’t seem like people have much fun, staring into their phones and tweeting and whatever. Now, if I had a time machine I’d go back a ways so I could visit CBGB’s or Whiskey a Go-Go in their prime.

 

You really like mortal rock music, it’s evident in this story. Who have you ferried over?

 

Charon: chuckles Well, I’m not one to name drop. Even people in the afterlife like their privacy. Let’s just say a fair number of Woodstock vets and others crossed the Styx on my watch.

 

Anybody from the 27 Club?

 

Charon: One or two.

 

How is Stone adjusting to the afterlife?

 

Charon: He’s good. He says hello. I think he’d like to take the boat out on his own once in a while, but it’s not doable. He’s not a Ferryman.

 

He could be, though.

 

Charon: That’s up to Hades. He runs the show.

 

Is he a tough boss?

 

Charon: He has a lot to manage. The other side is infinite compared to Earth. Things you never thought possible. He must have a damn good organizational system to keep track of it all.

 

It’s not a job you’d want, I take it.

 

Charon: No, no. smiles Leave me with my boat, a cooler, and a warm day.

 

And Stone.

 

Charon: That goes without saying. winks

 

 



Labels: author extra, Leigh Ellwood

5/13/15's Author Extra: Eternal Grind by Salome Wilde

[Apologies for this cute Author Extra not being released ON the books actual release date, but still VERY enjoyable! If you haven't checked out the individual story, or the anthology I think this little tidbit might be enough to push you over the edge and grab it for your cart! Thanks Salome for the quiz! I hope everyone enjoys!]

Eternal Grind
By Salome Wilde


Marketing blurb:
With tongue firmly planted in cheek, Salome Wilde's "Eternal Grind" brings vividly to life a corporate take on the Christian conception of Hell, populated with horned and hoofed demons inspired by medieval monks' fertile imaginations. Within this scenario, we meet our barista heroine, Fnx, and her beloved fem-demon Gwq, a pair determined to find their own happily-ever-after at any cost. Will they be able to overcome the harassment of their pompous, phallically obsessed boss, Mr. Yzk? It'll take all the fire and brimstone their demonic determination can muster.


Available:
http://www.torquerebooks.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=96&products_id=4399




Author Extra:


“Eternal Grind”: A Hellish Personality Test

by Salome Wilde

 

As author of the story “Eternal Grind,” I’m pleased to invite readers to indulge in their darkest demonic fantasies…or in any case to fulfill their pleasure in taking simplistic but fun personality quizzes!

 

For the following questions, choose the answer that most closely matches your personal preference. Your results will tell you which afterlife you’d suit best as a low-level immortal, and what you’d likely be doing.

 

1.      Favorite kind of movie to lose yourself in?

 

a.       Melodramas or chick flicks

b.      Family films

c.       Porn

d.      Comedies—the dumber the better

e.       Slice-of-life dramas or documentaries

 

2.      Best place for a first date?

 

a.       My place, so I can cook a nice meal for us

b.      A park, for a nice walk

c.       Swinger or BDSM club

d.      Comedy club

e.       Starbucks

 

3.      What might you wear on that first date?

 

a.       French maid or butler costume

b.      Something handmade

c.       As little as possible

d.      A t-shirt that reads “For Entertainment Purposes Only”

e.       Khakis and polo shirt

 

4.      How do you express emotions?

 

a.       I try not to

b.      Via hobbies

c.       With my safeword

d.      With laughter

e.       Politely

 

5.      Favorite secondary character from the Wizard of Oz?

 

a.       Toto

b.      Auntie Em

c.       Flying Monkey all the way

d.      The Wizard

e.       A member of the Lollipop Guild

 

6.      Favorite toy?

 

a.       Baby doll

b.      Big box of crayons

c.       Toy handcuffs

d.      Fake dog poo

e.       Kitchen playset

 

7.       Best time of day?

 

a.       Bright and early

b.      Long afternoon

c.       Darkest, just before the dawn

d.      Long quiet evenings

e.       It’s all the same to me

 

You're done!  Hope you enjoyed the ride!  Now count your answers by letter and use the following guide:

 

Mostly a’s: All aboard for Elysium (Ancient Greek Mythology): Those favored by the gods for their righteousness, heroism, or other arbitrary reasons remain in this blessed, happy place, indulging in whatever they enjoyed in life. Your immortal task is to assist these blissful souls to maintain their eternal illusion. Sell them their goods, clean their homes—typical servant stuff…forever. Fortunately, they like to rest, a lot, so you’ll find plenty of time to make mischief.

 

Mostly b’s: You’re headed to Nirvana (Hindu and Buddhist Mythology): Nirvana is liberation from the repeating cycle of birth, life, and death. For Hindu’s, it offers union with Brahman, the divine ground of existence and a blissful egolessness. For you, it mostly seems like everyone has drunk the Kool-Aid. You’ll either go with the flow and live in endless, mindless peace, or indulge in some decorative arts to make everyone extra comfy. Perhaps weaving or sewing little mirrors on throw pillows?

 

Mostly c’s: You belong in Valhalla (Norse Mythology): From Old Norse for “Hall of the Slain,” Valhalla is a huge hall in Asgard, ruled over by Odin, for those who die in combat. Immortal newbs spend most of their time cleaning up the mess made by incessant competitive battles and abundant libation. Though you can’t engage with the dead much, other Norse gods do stop by now and again to boink the help. Great for submissive tendencies and masochists.

 

Mostly d’s: She’ol (Jewish Mythology) is the place for you: a realm of darkness to which all dead go, whether righteous or unrighteous and regardless of choices made in life. It is a place of stillness and darkness, cut off from life and from the Hebrew God. The inhabitants are the “shades,” who lack personality or strength. As an immortal here, there’s little to do, as the inhabitants have no preferences or needs. It’s a great place for playing practical jokes, as long as you don’t mind being the only one who laughs.

 

Mostly e’s: Step right into Hell (Christian Mythology): As shown in “Eternal Grind,” the afterlife is what you make it, and given current corporate capitalist dominance in most Christian-saturated cultures, it’s barista work for you!

 

A mix:  If your letters don't line up, perhaps you're not ready for an immortal career. Enjoy your life and your uniqueness!

 




Labels: author extra, Salome Wilde